Feel it, see it

I want to feel it
The smooth kiss of blade on flesh
Slicing so effortlessly
Through scars both old and new
A whole new meaning of pain
I want to see it
The dots of blood
Connecting to form lines and pools
Bright red turning to crimson
As it spreads and grows
I want to see it
The gauze soaking up
The sins of my soul
Pure white stained red and brown
As the pain seeps through
I want to feel it
The tension, frustration, panic, and fear
Fleeing my soul
Calm and peace taking over
Leaving me temporarily sane