Carcinogen Crush

by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex   Mar 24, 2008


You're prettier than you expected, but it's just not shining through. These factors are as follows: you've got rain on your lips and a sunset in your eyes, but now you've got the hips that speak nothing but sin and the fictional touch of a w.hore.

I've wished I could be the heartbeat beneath your chest, when you breathed in that smoke. It was like a carcinogen to my heart. A carcinogen for the easy fact that you would never go away.

If I took a sample of your breath, do you think I'd taste your soul? I want to be wrapped in it, in your very veins, but your blood's a tad too thick to be breathing through.

It was like a carcinogen to my heart. A carcinogen for the easy fact that it would never go away.

And I told you to break your own bones; I won't do it for you, unless of course you promise not to scream. I'd scream for you, but I'm already drowning in your veins.

It's like a carcinogen to my heart, a cancerous touch that won't go away. For your eyes, I could be a little upset. that sunset has set perfect colors in our world, creating a romantic mood. Dance with me, Gorgeous. I promise not to insult you this time, if your cancerous touch promises not to go away.

You're like a carcinogen to my heart, a cancerous touch that won't go away.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Lu

    If I took a sample of your breath, do you think I'd taste your soul? I want to be wrapped in it, in your very veins, but your blood's a tad too thick to be breathing through.
    ^^^
    Definitely a very creative touch you've added here .... "If I took a sample of your breath, do you think I'd taste your soul?" <---- I love that line, it rolls off the tongue so smoothly, almost makes me feel a little devilish saying it ... lol

    It's like a carcinogen to my heart, a cancerous touch that won't go away. For your eyes, I could be a little upset. that sunset has set perfect colors in our world, creating a romantic mood. Dance with me, Gorgeous. I promise not to insult you this time, if your cancerous touch promises not to go away.
    ^^^
    I can't help but love this ending .... it intrigues my mind to wonder what has inspired such a piece of such unique wording and creative thinking.
    You paint quite amazing imagery ... and your title .... sparked my attention! Very mind enthralling piece you've woven. Well done

    Luanne

  • 16 years ago

    by Sarah

    Great write, truly deep.
    Well done xx
    5*5

    ^_^

  • 16 years ago

    by Ben

    Do you write stories? i think you should, not saying your poems are bad (because they arent i gave it 5/5). buut i do think the way you write would suit stories more, perhaps not though.

    umm anyway, great poem, odd again though, as i keep saying. i do like the way u equate the looks and "beauty" and addiction (so to speak), to cigarettes (and how they are addictive) and to the cancer and the bad side of them. it is true when they say too much of a good thing can be bad.

    there are a few stand out lines here and there which are really good, and probably make the poem what it is (along with the general theme/idea), however in my personal opinion it isnt as good as others of yours i have read. maybe it is the way you write, i'm not sure. however it is still a fantastic write and some very good creative and mature concepts.

    well done. not sure if you were looking for ideas for names or not? but maybe;

    cancerous touch
    carcinogen eyes

    im not really sure, yours is still good though. =)

  • 16 years ago

    by Sourav

    I loved your poem. It's really fantastic!

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    As has been said you are a great writer perhaps no one knows better than the one sitting to my left the fictional touch of a w.hore

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