by Fabz Mar 25, 2008
category :
Love, romance /
lost love
When You Think About Me, |
Once again i can feel your emotions in this poem. You seem to hae a nack for that. Keep up the great work |
Hey again :] hmm, i don't really remember how the first version was, but apparently, i really liked it. lol. uhm, the first stanza was okay/good.. but the rhyme was a bit weak. i absolutely loved your second stanza. it was beautifully written and i can relate. Next stanza. the last two lines were a bit off, like it was forced. but still, the stanza itself, and what it's saying, is very nicely written. the fourth stanza is still a bit weaker than the rest. mostly because of the significant difference between the syllables of each line. maybe if you tried to even out the lines, it'd flow nicer. and the final stanza, a good finish to a good piece. |
by Whisper
Wicked good! omgoodness. This is going on my favorites. the rhyme scheme was the same way I write, so I was used to it. |
This piece was beautifully written. This piece was in better flow with itself than the other piece I read. I understand exacctly what you mean in the first stanza. [very nice] ;) And the second stanza was my absolute favorite part of the poem. I dunno, but something about it really gets to me, you know. The next stanza was nicely written, and kind sad. :[ The fourth stanza was a bit weak, but still good. And the final stanza was perfect. 5/5 :] |
by sexyCheckers
I Like this one ;D |