Wonderful poem :)

Wonderful poem :)

Great work, keep it up x

Wow, filled with emotion... mostly sadness but filled with it and the imagery was awsome... great work! :) 5/5

LOved it like err one else said filled with emotion you used such descripitve words and its like i could feel how you felt all the emotions and err thing

Omg. this is good. especially the last two lines. haha. thats vicious. nice work!

This poem is rather nice, but a bit shallow. The choosing of words are a bit tastless and theere are no flowent rhymes. Try better next time 4/5

Wow...
This is absolutely amazing from the first to the last line. You created interesting rhythm with brackets, too. I like your choice of words, it is superb.
This poem is filled with greatly expressed emotions and I could really feel what you described. You truly managed to amaze me with each individual stanza.
My favorite lines are:

- East and nightfall will unite,
Mist of my haggard heart
-Now says, inhale the exuberance;
Of your sweetest DEATH [never to reunite].-
^^^
So powerful and very vivid.

Overall, you did excellent job with this poem. It's one of the best sad poems I've read in a while.
Keep up!
--5/5--

Amazingly done! Bravo! You honestly impressed me with this one, I admire it's uniqueness and the fact that you are able to describe so many emotions inside one poem is absolutely impressionable. My personal opinion is that some brackets are needless but some of them added a effective tone to the whole atmosphere. I enjoyed very much in this piece, and I can say that you wrote it straight from the heart(it's not hollow at all.) Your choice and combinations of words are also creative. Opening stanza is very captivating and whole poem contains, totally compact rhythm and vivid images. I don't have any negative critique , you did fantastic job.

DaT wAS aMAziNg..loL nyweiz kEeP it uP nd wRite mOre!!

It is finally nice to see a poem on here that has depth. I appreciate the poem in its entirety. have yet to give a rating of 5/5 but this ma be my first. Thank you for writing sincerely

A sad piece you pit herre. i can feel here tha pains in you words, excellent for you 5/5

"
Beautiful lies twirling to pupils exposed.
You love me, you love me NOT.
Lively footsteps chanting to what awaits
You and I [FOREVER], disengaged."

I didnt like the first line, it didnt do anything for this poem at all. But the second line was GREAT. I mean everyone knows about the HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT, and you incorporated it beautifully. The last two lines were pretty good.

"Shadows of your painted walls;
Deep-bruised my broken soul.
Broken vows mutedly proclaimed
As crystal tears are [now] freed."

Shouldnt the first lines be "shadows ON your painted walls" ???? becasue the way you have it now it just doesnt sound right. The rest of the stanza was pretty good. But i thought the third line could have been worded different.

"East and nightfall will unite,
Mist of my haggard heart
-Now says, inhale the exuberance;
Of your sweetest DEATH [never to reunite]."

I didnt like this first line AT ALL, sorry. The second line was better. The third line, again, not very good. THe last line the best of them. But this has to be the WORST stanza in the poem, sorry.

"Life without love, a battle destined to fall.
[Nothing but] Fools baseless fears
[Must be drown] For all time.
I see you in distress, I [Now] smile. "

I liked this stanza till i read the last line. The last line was pretty cliche. And you could have done WAY BETTER. im sorry

Overall it was a pretty good poem. You come problems here and there. In one stanza you use UNITE and REUNITE in it, and it makes the flow go way off track. And it seemed you tried way to hard to make the poem seem more elegant. So i have to give this one a 4/5

I love this poem, it's so filled with emotion. i love how at the end that he's hurt and now you smile. It'sd like yea, now you get to feel how I felt. Well written and i love the flow. i can relate to every angle of this poem

Brilliantly written

Sweet JoB
[5.5]

Best wishes,

Sarah A.

Marvellous job, marvellous

Wow.....................

A wonderfully written poem. Your use of square brackets was creative and the flow and rythym was superb.

"Beautiful lies twirling to pupils exposed.
You love me, you love me NOT.
Lively footsteps chanting to what awaits
You and I [FOREVER], disengaged."

^Your first stanza was able to immediately catch my attention. It seemed to be a flashing screen, a topic to another and back again. It captured the audience with a sort of mystic, and yet enough thoughts to make us want to know more. Like a slightly blurred picture waiting to be cleared.

I especially loved that effect you used, beginning with a foggy unclear and vague image before sharpening the image to explain what it was and yet vague enough to allow us to relate.

The only critique I have are the square brackets. It was a creative idea, though near the end it seemed almost overused. Lessening it a bit would have made the poem less confusing. As I read it, I thought wow. This is a fantstic poem and yet it left me wondering the square brackets here? Should they be here? Are they emphasising something? If it was trying to emphasis something, the message didn't completely get across. Overall, this was a wonderfully written poem. 4.5/5

Beautiful sad poem, Miren..

To live without love, such a difficult task..

Life without love, a battle destined to fall.
[Nothing but] Fools baseless fears
[Must be drown] For all time.
I see you in distress, I [Now] smile.

^^^^

I think it is wonderful if you are able to feel that way, but I think it can only be so when you no longer love him. If I knew for a fact he is as heart broken as me, that would only add to my misery, because then our break up would be even more pointless.

I love your way of writing, girl. I will be back to read more from now on:)

Take care,

5/5 Ingrid