This is nicely written but it's not amongst my favorite writes from you. I don't want to offend you but I think that this poem lack captivating atmosphere that would pull the reader in the message that you're trying to portray. That is, of course, just my personal opinion.

This was a tad confusing for me.
It kind of all just flew over the top of my head.
The structure and all the gramatical things were good
but emotionally i didn't understand.
3/5