A Painter's Masterpiece

""Without guile and without game, you cannot obtain love." "

^^ I love this, this is a beautiful opening, something that really draws the reader in and instantly has me hooked and wanting to continue with the rest of the piece.

I found this opening line to be very strong and hold alot of depth and power in few words.

""Here's the way I see it: You like him, he likes you,
(She walks away from her echoing laughter, gasping)"

^^ This is beautiful, this brought out many conflicting emotions for me, and I love the use of gasping here, it makes it seem all the more real and adds strength to these two lines.

"As the mirror of tarnished sketches crumbles beneath tainted time.
Her latest treasure, the novel heart in which her chest now binds,"

^^ Easily my favourite part of the piece, these lines are stunning, so much depth, so much melancholy yet simutaneously beautifully written and filled with elegance while the imagery in these lines is beautiful, creates very vivid pictures in my mind.

"Observe the mystifying smile that she has painted across her lips,
For you are now witnessing her most notorious work of art."

^^ I'm not to sure on this for the ending...it's beautifully written, yes. But at the same time I feel that it is slightly weaker than the rest of the poem, which is strong throughout, and I can't help but feel it lets the poem down slightly.

However that being said, I love this piece, I found it to be very well written and moving, and an enjoyable read.

I liked it
like you said the thoughts were a bit scattered
but the poem was really i dont know cool in it's own way
I would fix one thing
like when you said all the thoughts were in your mind
write them down then about an hour or so after
go back and fix or re-write the poem
it helps trust me
5/5

I can relate to your last comment explaining the poem. I have been writing a lot of poems for the same reason. I have a deep appreciation for free verse and I think you did well making the poem flow without a rhyme scheme

"(Polished, once it was forged with the utmost precision)
A complimentary masterpiece in which she helped devise: "

This is my favorite lines. They lead to the lines that blend well with the title

I felt much emotion in this novel like poem

5>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

This poem is really awesome. The style is really different from anything I've read lately. But I love it.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she beams,
As the mirror of tarnished sketches crumbles beneath tainted time.
Her latest treasure, the novel heart in which her chest now binds

This is my favorite part of the whole thing. It just flows so well and the wording is simply amazing. Great job. 5/5

Haha, i love poems that make you have to read it like 3-4 times ( for me anyways ) to kinda get the true meaning of the poem and thats what this did... I loved it.. very well written and creative.... The first line you wrote was my fav!!