Fear's Comeuppance

by Brittney Follett   Mar 26, 2008


Long twisted fingers stroking up and down your spine
His cold lips brushing against your ear, shivers arise
Dark brown eyes keep you entranced making you blind
Slowly his hand creeps down your leg then up your thigh.

Moaning he moves his mouth nibbling across your skin
You remain motionless, unable to breathe, unable to stop
Feeling his breath on your neck makes your world spin
Outside you've surrendered, inside slides a teardrop.

Rough hands press down, you finally feel emotion: fear.
On top of you he stares deeply into your innocent eyes.
He leans forword and speaks quietly but enough to hear:
"Vos nunquam subterlabor mihi ego sum seorsum vestrum."

Twining his fingers in yours, there's no chance of rescue.
Trailing his long tongue down to your neck from your ear.
He bites above your heart, it threatens to burst from you
Looming above you he continues, but the end never nears.

Eternity seems to pass, yet the future still remains ahead
He lays down beside you and twirls a finger along your skin.
Emotion starts to choke you, inside you're filled with dread.
You yearn for comfort and love, but its only you and him.

He pulls you closer and though you hate him, you relax.
While crying on his chest, he gently smooths your hair.
He pulls you into his lap and your body quickly reacts.
You shudder violently, its all more than just a nightmare.

Trapped in the field of dreams you and him lay together.
A part of you loves him, and the other loathes his being.
Never can you leave, caged inside with him forever.
Constantly saying: "I wish I could only be dreaming."

"Vos nunquam subterlabor mihi ego sum seorsum vestrum."

You can never escape me,
For I am etched into your being.

Copyright Brittney Follett

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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Decayed

    OMG.. this got me goosebumps!

    It was captivating from the start till the very end.

    A Journey of thrill!!

    You seem a master of dark poems (my fav type:)
    And the LATIN phrase was a bomb!

    You're awesome :D

    5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by Decayed

    The LATIN phrase was WOWWW.. A bomb!

    You seem to be a master of Dark poems.. (They are my favorite type :)

    You enticed me from the start till the very end..

    great

  • 13 years ago

    by Jenna Bella Oldridge

    What stood out for me about this poem was the imagry and how you made the poem come to life. The poem itself was a little long for my liking but in the end length didn't matter

    5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    This is very.. chilling. Everything about this piece made me get goosebumps. Despite its subject, it's a beautiful poem. It's left me speechless.

    "Long twisted fingers stroking up and down your spine
    His cold lips brushing against your ear, shivers arise"

    -- This was a brilliant way to open the piece. You can immediately tell what this is going to be about. It's absolutely gorgeous.

    "He bites above your heart, it threatens to burst from you
    Looming above you he continues, but the end never nears."

    -- These two lines blew me away. I think it's my favorite part of the poem. I like how the vocabulary is simply, but you've used the words in such a way that you put a brilliant image in my head.

    Overall, I loved this. Everything about it is beautiful. I'm honestly lost for words, really. You've done a brilliant job.

    Five out of five. [5/5]

    `Briana :)

  • 14 years ago

    by Stephanie Naylor

    Overall i thought this was absolutley amazing. It flowed pretty well throughout the entire poem and the rhymes were really well. There was one line i really disliked though.

    "Outside you've surrendered, inside slides a teardrop."

    ^^ I just thought this was really out of place and could of been worded a little better.
    Also the ending was great but again it could of been worded a little differetn and it would of had a bigger impact on the reader. A well deserved 5/5

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