Recognition

by Indian Comma Bean   Mar 27, 2008


Unbridled rage unleashed;
Crack! Silence...
Weeping; Sobbing...

Sullen eyes staring through cloudy visage,
As they see the damage they have done.
Face shrouded by grimy hair,
Days gone by bathing in despair.

Lost in a state of confusion,
Clouds following his lonesome soul,
Soaked by his own tears; Recognition sparks,
He sees the faces of his anguish in his liquid sorrow.

Going back in time as the hourglass flips,
Watching his memories in reverse,
One by one they fade away into mass,
Pitifully he feels his spirit drain.

As slowly he drifts away,
And his soul is simply nothing more...

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Ixora

    Tragic yet beautiful. you're a very talented writer.

    *^*crow*^*

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Excellently written poem. You created astonishing, so vivid imagery in every stanza. I like the choice of words in the whole poem a lot, you have great vocab. The one thing that is the most impressive about this piece is the way that superb atmosphere and great imagery mixed to highlight such powerful emotions. This is very heartfelt write, filled with truly fantastically expressed feelings.
    The only thing I don't like is that you used the word 'fade" in the fourth stanza and than again in the last one. Maybe it can be replaced with other word in the ending lines.
    Overall, greatly gone.
    My favorite lines are:

    -
    Lost in a state of confusion,
    Clouds following his lonesome soul,
    Soaked by his own tears; Recognition sparks,
    He sees the faces of his anguish in these crystals.-

    Keep writing!

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