Strong opening. It's been a while since I last read a poem that starts so boldly.

"The war i fight within myself,
i do not know if you are right for me,
the war you fight within yourself,
you do not know if i am right for you."
^ Very nice, it's true in so many ways. I like the way you "mirrored" the situation.

I liked your third stanza best. It was short, but the third line made me stop and savor the bitter moment. "Are we meant to be?" Indeed, that is the question at always comes up at the end.

I also like how you repeated "No matter". There is a strong resonance to it.

Nice poem!

Good work ally but i like the 3rd stanze its more strong and powerful but all of it got the meaning and the feeling, well done 5/5

Although i like how this is written. i completely disagree with the use of immortal. but i suppose we stand in two different places.

Another good poem! I liked the meaning of this poem. It was a really great read.

Wow this poem has a lot of emotional and passion in it. You chose these words that painted this wonderful image for me. You did a spectacular job on this poem! keep it up girl I will enjoy reading your other poems.

Aly-
Also loved this one <3
Great structure, not as much rhyme, but still loved the words used.
Favourtie is:
"I am Immortal."
As the final line. Very simple. Loved it <3
Keep it up <3 Good work <3
5/5
- Nicole x

Great jobb. i love the title. such great emotion. 5/5 keep it up!!

Its great!!!!!!!!!!
we are all imortal til we die

Superr bold totally power-riffic! well donee
as alwayys -- verry cleverr.

Wow you are tough! lolz

nice job! 5/5

Wow great poem!!
i really enjoyed reading in
5/5

Wow, this is a really good poem... It reminds me of a certain, ficticious relationship, between a certain vampire and a certain human ... :D

I don't mean to be picky, but I'm gonna go through the poem, and pull out spellings or grammar or bits to improve. This is a good poem, but with improvement it can be brilliant.

On with the poem......:

No matter what you say,
No matter what you do to me,
I am Immortal.

^^This first stanza is fine, it makes the reader want to read a lot more. I like the way 'Immortal' has a capital 'I', it makes it seem like a name, or something powerful. Good stuff :)

The war i fight within myself,
i do not know if you are right for me,
the war you fight within yourself,
you do not know if i am right for you.
But no matter what we do,
I am Immortal.

^^The standards slipped a bit for this stanza. You need to put capitals on your 'i's, and also you need to make sure the beginning of each line has a capital letter. I would suggest that after the second line, there should be a full stop instead of a comma. However, the content is really good and I like the repitition idea :)

You brought this pain into my life,
That undecided question rises up above our hearts.
Are we meant to be?

^^The second line here is my favourite line in the whole poem, it can be related to by so many people. One teeny weeny change I would make is swapping that full stop for a colon, so it leads into the question, but otherwise, your best stanza yet :D

I am immortal,
No matter what pain you casue me to have,
No matter what u bring onto my heart,
No matter what you think
No matter what they think of us.
I am Immortal.
No matter what Love brings me.

^^ This is an interesting stanza. I would give the first 'immortal' a capital 'I' ('Immortal') to keep in line with the rest of the poem. 'Casue' should be 'cause', and 'u' should be 'you' because the rest of the 'you's are the same. The next one is personal preference: I would change 'onto' to 'into', because I always think that the heart is more like a cage, or a box, it holds things inside them. After 'think' - 4th line - I think there should be a comma. I'm not sure about 'Love' having a capital, it then outranks the 'Immortal' slightly. I don't know, it's your poem :D I like the repitition by the way :)

Love cannot defeat me,
I am Immortal.

^^ This is excellent, and a beautiful concept - if only we were all immortal, then there would be no hurt in the world, from love or physical injury. Well captured :)

I am Immortal.

^^ A beautiful ending to an awesome poem.

Well, I have rambled a bit, but hopefully the poem has been improved a bit, at least. t was a pleasure to read, and it deserves a 5/5, which I will give.

Keep writing, this is awesome,
Emily :)