Let me love again

Bottled up my tears
and sealed it with a kiss
silently so no one hears.
But the silence cant be missed
they don't know I'm suffering
they all believe the lies
the truth is non-existing
inside their shallow eyes.
you just don't understand
and you think you've got it worse,
try one day in my shoes
and you feel like you've been cursed
you'll discover truth,
time has one direction
and the only way to stop it
is to stop the love and affection
save me your pity
and those lies about how you care
the only way I'll get better
is when you won't be there.
take back your words
and those priceless gifts you were giving
i don't need reminders
of when i wasn't living.
yes, you made me smile,
and laugh my troubles away
then i finally came to realize
your heart wasn't here to stay
it was full of lies.
i had no escape
from the hurt and the pain that you always seemed to make
no safe place to hide,
you threatened your life
and held my heart hostage.
I've lost all my pride.
i cared too much to lose you
so i stayed and took the pain
and i made my mistake.
I wanted your heart but it never came
i wiped up your tears
i held you close
You were the one that I cared about most.
i promised to keep you alive,
but that wasn't really me
I was only the one who you needed me to be.
there was nothing to say
and nothing i could do
to keep myself going,
to get myself through
I'm being self centered thats what you might say
but how can i help
if i barely make it through the day?
I'm sorry i gave up
and i pray that you're OK
maybe one day you'll understand
I couldn't possibly stay
that i had to give up or give in.
but for now,
let me go
let me live
let me love again..