Tu ne me vois pas [French Poem]

I liked this poem a lot. i know what writing in another language is like and i wish i could write in French as good as you do.... :) anyways, about the poem itself:

the repetition of "adore"is nice. actually at first i thought it sounds a little simple:

Je t'adore, mais
Il l'adore,
et elle t'adore...
......
Tu l'adore,
et elle t'adore,
mais tu ne m'adoreras jamais?

but maybe this simplicity is what works here.

and my fav lines are:

Si t'`etais un fantome ou un vampire
il ne serait pas l'amour.

i think you could develop this idea because it is brilliant, but it seemed to me it's not really connected to the poem wholly. maybe it's just me, don't know

questions are eye-catching and the ending is very sweet
5/5
keep on writing)))

Okay well I do not know French but for the English translation heres my comments ^_^

"You look at me all the time,
But, never do you see me.
If you were a ghost or a vampire
would it not be love?"

I like this beginning. It is so true that people you love can look at you but its like looking through you not at you, and the part about ghosts and vampires is cute. To me it means like eternal love, it would be if you were a ghost or vampire.

"I love you,
but you love her,
and she loves you,
and you don't love me.'

That is true, those lines, so many times you love someone, only to find out they have feelings for another. well said.

"For what?
Why do not you see me after the night?
What kind of problem do you have?
For what?
For who?
Who is the girl that you love?
it's not me."

Yeah, sometimes you wonder why they love the other and not you. And you have many questions running around in your head. Great portrayal but the wording was a bit confusing.

"Why do you have a dead heart for me?
You love her,
and she loves you,
but you never will love me?
Love is dead,
My heart is dead,
because you do not love me,
But I love you.
Forever, I love you."

Loved the ending. Really cemented the poem and made it final. Expressed really well how you feel when the one you like loves another. You do feel dead but still love them all the same.
Wonderful poem. And I would love to learn French too
hehe ^_^

well done.

Hm, I'm a little thrown off by the "t'me", etc, I don't think these contractions are meant for things like written french because they're a more colloquial, oral form.

Also, the very last line, seeing as it follows a full stop, should start with a capital letter.

Otherwise, it was very well written! And I have to congratulate you on taking the effort to improve your french by applying it to a pastime you love.

My favorite line;
"Tu l'adore,
et elle t'adore,
mais tu ne m'adoreras jamais?"
I love the repetition, and the roundabout feeling of love unrequited.

"Si t'etais un fantome ou un vampire
il ne serait pas l'amour." To be honest, these two lines do not make sense, but I get what you mean by reading the translation. Try: Ne serait-il pas l'amour?

In French, why and for what mean the same thing (or in my head it does). So I would pout Pourquoi's everywhere, instead of Pour quoi.

"Quelle sorte de prolem as-tu?"
probleme

"a jamais, je t'adore."
I would put Je t'adore, a jamais.