It began one night
as i sat in my chambers in fright
i was nearly resting when there was a knock
A visitor?
To my feet i went
calm and strong
Fearing what was going on
walking slowly i made my way
knock knock
I took my time you see
not rushing the process this time
knock knock
I reached for the nob
oh how carefully i braced it
as if it was alive you see
Turning it slowly the door cracked open
Well hello there
I glanced over
looking at a man about my age
calm and steady he was
not a tilt in place
His eyes wandered in my room behind
I asked if he wanted to come him
So he greeted me with his hand
i moved away
Like a swan in show
He only smiled entering quick
No beauty he showed
just a act of kindness
I passed him
walking in a slow pace
I made my way to my chair
he followed
"May i sit down," he asked quietly as if he was scared of me
i nearly nodded, leaning back with a quiet peaceful grown
to his seat he stumbled
knocking over a book that lay on the table face up
his face was blank of emotion
my eyes where fixed on him
glaring with a fixed pace
his shaking hand braced the book hard,
placing it back in a sideless manner
"Surely" said i, "surely you have business here."
The mans eyes went to mine
cold and dishearted
did he know me, for i didn't him him
Yet i payed no mind to him
calm would i be
i would show no fear
not to any man
even when it filled me such a wicked way
as you see i have a fear of new comers
i guess i knew he was coming
but...shame be told...
i couldn't remember him
"Yes," said the man, "Your love is dead, he contiuned
angering me
"We need the money you see."
My glare became more fierce
A fire to blaze
a light to a dim candle i was
about to burst
but i had to keep calm
i took my glance away quick
a smirk came replying gracefully
"Money for her death," said I tone just right
"I don't understand."
He nodded at me and glanced upon the bookself
"Well," he said weakly, "you have to pay for the coffin you asked for sir."
My gaze came and went,
sighs emerged
i feared more and more
to tell you the truth i had no money
my hands shook
a cold sweat raced down my face
damnit!
The mans eyes went to mind
his body shook in fear as i stood to my feet
backing into the seat he went
looking up scared to plain death
i shook my fist at him, taking a step forward
i lost my balance
"Sir please you must understand," he mubbled
"please don't hurt me."
I glanced at the bookself where my mirror stood
My gaze was lighten, seeing myself
Yet it wasn't me
The man inside took over me
The man inside wasn't me
Wanting it my way i tried to fight back
trying so hard not to look at the man that sat have scared to death
sadly i felt it go away
no!
i wouldn't
not now not ever
my hands went to my face
Cupping it quickly
i shook side to side screaming
oh how my screams frighten me
my fault it was
my lust for wanting it my way had to take over
the pounding of the battle
the white flag against the blood red sky
Someone help me!
The man looked at me, i could smell his sweat
he didn't care i tell you
he mocked me like the others
Taking my only thing i had was his lust
His sin was nothing
Wack!
My hand slapped him
no control
the man touched his cold red face
And oh how he screamed in pain
how it echoed through me
The man inside loved it
Yet it had to stop
Backing away in the darkness
long i stood in a place where no one could see my face
The man slipped away
My body had enough
Crashing to the floor i went
Curled up like a ball shaking
"Go away!," i screamed, "leave me!"
I took in a breath
It all stopped
I became calm once again
i wanted it this way
i let my lust take me
How i hated it so
my downfall
I looked around
a voice echoed in my head
my fault
oh how it was
cause i let the man inside take over me
now i will never understand
yet i wanted it this way
i will never let lust take over me again
