Sometimes I just want to go to sleep
And never wake up again
Drift off to a happier land
Someplace where no one judges
Someplace where teenage girls dont hold grudges

^ I really like this stanza. It was a great opener for you poem. And very attention grabbing. The stanza is very relateable to many, and especially me. There have many a days that I wish I could just drift off into a dream world and stay there forever. And I think that you should add the words "on to" in between "hold" and "grudges" In my opinion, it would make the stanza flow a little better. [But if changing it changes the meaning of the line, then okay]

A world full of dreamers and laughter
A world where everyone has their "happily ever after"

^This was short but says a lot. "happily ever after" is real cliche, but I liked the way you used it here.

Somewhere that takes only the generous and the giving
Its a wonderful place that makes life worth living
A place to go to, to take a break
It is like a dream that but you never awake

^In the second line, I think you should take out the word "its". I think it'll help make the stanza flow nicer. :] And the last line. Maybe it's just me, but it confused me a bit. I'm still a little unsure. .Like, I think I get what you're trying to say/write, but the way you worded it is a bit confusing to me, as the reader. .

The place eases your pain away
So you will not live another miserable day
Just close your eyes real tight
Wish real hard, wish with all your might

^Second line: I think you should reword like this "So you don't have to live another miserable day" . Just a minor adjustment. I really liked the first line, though; it was deep. .

Eventually you will drift off to that special world
The lucky guys could take there wonderful girls
That way they will be together
Too bad you cannot stay in the land forever

^ This stanza was okay and was a good closer for the piece.

So those are just some suggestions for the poem . You don't have to take my advice or take it into consideration or anything, but yeah. .But overall, I really liked your poem and the idea it's wrapped around. Because. I'm sure everyone, every now and then, wishes to escape reality and be free in their own world.. :] 5/5.

Yea, at the end.. lets hope we all get to go to a place like that. Your poem was really good! It kind of reminds me of one of mine..called: "If Only". Well, great poem! Keep it up, and who says you're too young to write? pshht..you're a wonderful writer, and hopefully will become a famous one(:

Wow. If you find this place then let me know b/c I'd really like to join you lol. This piece was really catchy and I just imagined the place you were talking about and so many of us dream about it. 5/5 x