My Broken Parade

Just wonderful, so wonderful
Can you tell when your heart beats?
Cause your chest starts to hurt
Knees crash to the ground
Do you belong in the dirt?
--fav. part
5/5

I luv how this poem just points out how so many r broken hearted and not alone. 1 of my fav. by u so far! 5/5
xoxo
~me~

p.s. i also luv how i can relate 2 it....thax 4 making me make that promise 2 u the other night, it relly helped me

Awesomely done in a very creative way..Indirect way of expressin from a broken heart..I liked the way how you asked questions, it added the intensity of the poem..Excellent Job..5/5

Well, if this:

Do you not deserve "her"?
Not even at your best
Can you feel that cold pounding?
Somewhere in your chest

is true....then you don't belong in the parade, my dear....you deserve her....you deserve the world...

Sounds like my kinda parade....hmm...

Come one, Come all
To this broken parade
Where nightmares are home
Because dreams are afraid

^ wish people would stop writing about nightmares...because they are home. home is a scary place.....

Come one, come all
Yes, get up on your feet
If your heart has been broken
If you feel incomplete

^ lmao. *raises hand* i'm heeeere!

Come on, UP!
Up on your feet
Dance to the rhythm
Can you feel the beat?

^ i love how in your poems you ask a question...it always feels like you're looking me square in teh eye and asking.

Come on UP!
The music so sweet
Slow down the traffic
Life's a one way street

^ life is one way. no u-turns in life... trust is two way. interesting

Can you tell when your heart beats?
Cause your chest starts to hurt
Knees crash to the ground
Do you belong in the dirt?

^ again....the questions just feel very personal. which bothers me. lol.

Get up, Get well
Join in this parade
Do you feel alone?
We've all been betrayed

^ ya...we all have been betrayed. commradery between those who are alone. good idea.

You'll know if you feel it
When this sad music starts
Parade of broken wishes
Parade of broken hearts

^ i like the last two lines jesse....i like the repetion with a slight change....

great job...again.