"Beating it rhythmic tune for you
Only for you my love."
Might try:
"Beating it's rhythmic tune for you
Only for you, my love."
"Calling for you aching for you."
Maybe add a coma in the middle, like so:
"Calling for you, aching for you."
Also, maybe trying to rhyme a bit. It helps the flow so much more. Though remember, these are simply suggestions.
Good job though.
*Chaotic Angel*
5/5
13 years ago
by L
Hey, nice.
I was about to make a sugestion but chaotic angel already said it.
Though I think it would sound better to change the "it" to "in".
"Beating it rhythmic tune for you"
( Beating in rhythmic tune for you)
( beating it's rhythmic tune for you)
:-s I'm not sure.
But the poem it's good :D.