Comments : Listen To My Heart

  • 16 years ago

    by AngelicDecadence

    Great job, lots of emotion, one tip:

    "Beating it rhythmic tune for you
    Only for you my love."
    Might try:
    "Beating it's rhythmic tune for you
    Only for you, my love."

    "Calling for you aching for you."
    Maybe add a coma in the middle, like so:
    "Calling for you, aching for you."

    Also, maybe trying to rhyme a bit. It helps the flow so much more. Though remember, these are simply suggestions.
    Good job though.
    *Chaotic Angel*
    5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by L

    Hey, nice.
    I was about to make a sugestion but chaotic angel already said it.
    Though I think it would sound better to change the "it" to "in".
    "Beating it rhythmic tune for you"
    ( Beating in rhythmic tune for you)
    ( beating it's rhythmic tune for you)
    :-s I'm not sure.
    But the poem it's good :D.