I miss you!

I hate it how every time I think that I'm okay and have accepted that we've moved on from each other you show up out of nowhere and remind me that I'm really not okay.. You remind me that I don't want to be apart from you and that I want you there by my side through every step of my life.. I wrote you a letter, I've wrote you a lot of letters actually, but I'll never have the balls to show them to you.. But they are my way of saying goodbye without actually saying it.. I cried a lot of tears over them but eventually I got tired of crying.. I haven't cried over you in a long time.. well that was until tonight, when I saw you I felt the tears forming at my eyes a couple times.. but I held on like I have been doing and tried to remain strong.. and I don't know what it is about you that I can't get over because your nothing like you used to be, you've become complete trash.. but I guess I'm still in love with the person you used to be and am still trying to find a way to get over you.. A way to not miss you anymore.. A way not to reminisce on the good times and even the bad.. I miss you more than any of the words in the dictionary could ever explain.. I just wish I knew how you felt.. I wish you'd come running back and tell me how stupid you have been for all this time and how you wish you could take it all bad and how much you've missed me too, just so I know I'm not crazy for having these feelings.. but a big part of me knows that I'm crazy and knows that even if we ever did talk again you would never say those things that I'm dying for you to say to me.. So again this is another wasted night thinking, dreaming about you.. I just wish I knew that you were doing the same thing..