Stolen Away, Her Decay

I enjoyed it. I liked how it was short and simple, giving it a fast tempo. It was fluid throughout. Nice job.

Oh wow, this is such a contrast from that other poem of yours that I just read. There was a strong dark atmosphere present in this poem, which I liked. This shows that you are not just focused on writing one theme of poetry, but make the effort to tackle both themes of happiness and themes of sadness.

"She can't get
Out, she's locked
Inside, trapped in
What is called
Her Mind,
Her thoughts
Are raging,
Rushing by,
She's praying for
The open sky"

^^ This stanza was my favourite. "She's praying for the open sky." -- Beautiful. :]

Nicely done.

This poem has interesting sort of flow to it. I liked reading it. I like how you made use of the title within in the poem and I also like how you sort of mask the true subject, but it is still very understandable. Good job.

It's great to see that you are twelve and into writing. Keep writing and you can acheive great poetry. It's all about learning. Don't be afraid to take in harsh comments. They really arn't as harsh as they seem. More helpful.

This topic you were talking about within this poem is interesting, i'm sure many people can relate to this wether young or old. It would hold alot of emotions, and definitly make anyone feel they are not alone in this situation. Though at the same time it's cliche. I don't like suicidal poem, they really arn't my type of thing.

You had a great flow which was smoothe and rolled off this tongue. That was good to see. Short lines really helped with that.

Your word choice is simple and effective, not really my type though, i'm into a more complex vocabulary. It gets me thinkings. I think you should try to experiment with a different range of words.

Shorts lines are interesting, I like how they held a constant flow.

Ending this piece with the word decay shows that you know a bit more powerful words then you placed within this poem, I believe if you used some stronger vocab stronger emotions will flow.

Overall an okish poem. Not the best i've read but remember you have alot of time to learn.

~Mel

The flow was great
this poem had me, from the first word to the last
5/5