I dont think anyone could read and walk away from this....
i certianly cant
not since i feel close to the same thing right now that you are talking about

my thoughts are with you
at least you spoke up,
otherwise
who have known?

in keeping you in my prayers i hope you pray for me also
hugs

phil

Its great well done xx

Waw, its good and i enjoy reading it, its too deep,sad,well done,and keep writting
5/5

One of the best I have read today!
wonderful.
honestly.
it is amazing.

Wow really sad, amazing flow tho, worked really well, pulled me in and wanted me to read mor and more!!

well done!!

Love
Jacs
xxxx

I like the way you arranged the words and how well it seemed to flow off the page. i also enjoyed how the emotion and meaning were clearly displayed to the reader like a 5 course meal. i give it a 5.

A few of the lines seemed a bit like you put them there just for the rhyme. But the raw emotion concealed in this poem was amazing. Great write. 5/5 from me.

Wow. this was really good. I really liked it. it was very emotional i could picture it happening well i could picture her in her room screaming out of how she feels and how much she just wants to go away.

keep it up.
keep on writing.
love always and forever.

The fornatting on this poem makes it very easy to get the flow . I feel much emotion

This is wonderfuly written...good word choice.. your words speak so much...

wonderful write..

The flow was great
this poem had me, from the first word to the last
5/5

It's great to see that you are twelve and into writing. Keep writing and you can acheive great poetry. It's all about learning. Don't be afraid to take in harsh comments. They really arn't as harsh as they seem. More helpful.

This topic you were talking about within this poem is interesting, i'm sure many people can relate to this wether young or old. It would hold alot of emotions, and definitly make anyone feel they are not alone in this situation. Though at the same time it's cliche. I don't like suicidal poem, they really arn't my type of thing.

You had a great flow which was smoothe and rolled off this tongue. That was good to see. Short lines really helped with that.

Your word choice is simple and effective, not really my type though, i'm into a more complex vocabulary. It gets me thinkings. I think you should try to experiment with a different range of words.

Shorts lines are interesting, I like how they held a constant flow.

Ending this piece with the word decay shows that you know a bit more powerful words then you placed within this poem, I believe if you used some stronger vocab stronger emotions will flow.

Overall an okish poem. Not the best i've read but remember you have alot of time to learn.

~Mel

This poem has interesting sort of flow to it. I liked reading it. I like how you made use of the title within in the poem and I also like how you sort of mask the true subject, but it is still very understandable. Good job.

Oh wow, this is such a contrast from that other poem of yours that I just read. There was a strong dark atmosphere present in this poem, which I liked. This shows that you are not just focused on writing one theme of poetry, but make the effort to tackle both themes of happiness and themes of sadness.

"She can't get
Out, she's locked
Inside, trapped in
What is called
Her Mind,
Her thoughts
Are raging,
Rushing by,
She's praying for
The open sky"

^^ This stanza was my favourite. "She's praying for the open sky." -- Beautiful. :]

Nicely done.

I enjoyed it. I liked how it was short and simple, giving it a fast tempo. It was fluid throughout. Nice job.