Now What I Hold Are the Memories We Forgot About

Know lost causes are for failed attempts, and i've never been a failure.

and i really hope this isn't a lost cause; i was told i could always fix my mistakes.

these two lines.... wow. you have an amazing talent. i am so jealous and in awe.thank you for actually putting proper deep poetry up. Keep up the good work. 93839289283/5

That was full emotion, the more i read your poems, the more i think to myself, structured poems aren't always the right thing.

Hey! Sorry it took me so long.. I feel ashamed that I couldn't get to you sooner,

about the poem:

I really like Your title, Its very interesting and caught my attention and while I read the poem, I kept the title in mind and was drawn and held in by the words. great job

you know, i miss you like a bad habit,
but you're not supposed to like addictions.
^ I'd have to say these are my FAVORITE lines They make a great introduction and the message behind them is amazing. Well said.

i'll display your name in every way except on my heart
^ I didn't really like this line for some reason.. maybe its because: "in every way except on" it kinda sounds funny

and tomorrow i'll remind you of the better days.
it's like you've already forgotten my name, a few days later
^ I really liked this until you repeated days, i think you should change it to where you only say it once

and maybe you have and those words aren't for me -
but these words are for you.
^'and maybe you have and' this is a run-on from the last line and it kinda confuses it with the next line..

they say it's hard to say "i'm sorry"
^"they say ..to say" .. its another repeat

and i'll tell you now it's even harder to write it out, when you're a poet.
^ this i think.. is kinda weak.. maybe revise it?

this could be a waste of time, telling you something you already know
but i like it this way, trying to fix the past.
^ I reeeeeally like these lines, you've impressed me with the way you put things.

lost causes are for failed attempts, and i've never been a failure.
^I found a lot of emotion behind these
my father always smacked me once and told me to do better,
^not too sure if I like this line..

forgive me if you've heard these words before,
i know i've thought them so much, you could probably read them on my forehead.
^this kinda made me laugh a little(maybe its not the intention you meant to protray but it did) I like them

i know lost causes are for failed attempts, and i've never been a failure.
my father would just smack me once and told me to do better,
and i'm starting to think you're the best thing that's out there.
^ A repeat to make it stronger, great job

and i really hope this isn't a lost cause; i was told i could always fix my mistakes.
^ and with a beautiful ending. GREAT JOB

I really enjoyed reading this.. and i know you said in the beginning about the capitalization and it adding to the poem.. I found that it actually took it away, I got stuck on some parts because those 'i' s were bugging at me..

But overall I enjoyed reading it, Thank you for the opportunity.

5/5

Rest of the stanza -- It made me smile . Like I said your emotions are bouncing back and forth but you do it so beautifully . It ' s like your in love with this person , but you don ' t want to admit it because of that whole " I ' m better without you " type of feeling you are giving off . I don ' t know , it is just a great stanza :]

xD
Not being a smart ass. Promise!
I just always re read comments on poems that are about me.

I choose to do this one , because I loved the title . And I liked that you put the word " now " in front of it , it adds some sort of emotion . Not sure what though . [ Again , I Comment As I Read ; Leave Room For Change ]

I love the opening line . It holds emotion and a lot of meaning for what the piece holds . It really captures your attention . [ One thing that bothered me , was the part about capitalization I think you should of put at the end . Just my opinion though ]
Great way to open the piece ..

Oh boyy . I love the first two lines of this stanza . I love them . Aghgjosigvs . Lol . I like the way your emotions are portrayed throughout this stanza . They alter so quickly but the transitions are so smooth . I hope that makes sense to you ; Sorry if it doesn ' t . You can always ask me what I meant :] I loved the last two lines . You summed it up great and made it easily to move to the next stanza .

I like the open to this stanza . Such a classic line and then you make it complex with writing it . Then the whole poet idea , I loved it . But I think between the writing it and being a poet there shouldn ' t have been a comma more of a --->

and i'll tell you now it's even harder to write it out; when you're a poet or even a - could of went there . Well , it works either way you read it . I am just a punctuation junky . Lol .

Rest of the stanza -- It made me smile . Like I said your emotions are bouncing back and forth but you do it so beautifully . It ' s like your in love with this person , but you don ' t want to admit it because of that whole " I ' m better without you " type of feeling you are giving off . I don ' t know , it is just a great stanza :]

One thing I did notice , is that the capitalization thing really helps . I don ' t quite understand how , but it does . Now I am regretting that I said you should not of put it at the top . Grr . Lol .

Oh I like the first line of this one -- The emotions are real . But you become repetitive . and I know you probably did that on purpose , but I just don ' t like it all that well . And one mistake , when you repeat the line about your dad you should say would tell not told me to do better . I think I see where your going with this stanza though ; I liked it .

And the line to sum up the piece . Amazing . So overall , another great poem from you . I truly enjoyed it . 5 . 5

Amber .