I'm Losing My Footing In This Never-Ending Rain.

I believe I lost my footing while I was skipping through scenarios of forever. I brought the rain clouds directly over my head, oh the perks of this springtime weather. There's a blink of lightning flashing through my window and a deep rumble of thunder cursing me tonight... but that's okay. Because I didn't come this far with a broken heart to bleed over a little mishap. [But you were never just a -little- mishap were you?] So rain... please continue to pour down on me just like my own regret and lies seem to do.

My ears seem to have a mind of their own because they swear that there's a knocking at the door, and my mind just jumps at the chance to think it may be you. So knock a little harder, because my heart is in need of a little jump start and you might be just the boy to do that. You did always swear to give me everything I wanted, didn't you? And I never did peg you for a liar, so why start after two years?

My feet are curled up underneath me, and my body is shaking with cold chills and tears. And there's a familiar, old mix tape playing in the background and the words have never been so right and so wrong at the same time. It's like a symphony of lies and my ears are escaping in each word that's sung, but I guess that's because they're about you again... aren't they? Just like everything else my fingertips touch.

You. You. You. My world revolves around infinite thoughts of you and I still feel as if gravity is pulling me down. Or is that you? Are you the one dragging me down to me knees, or is my imagination playing tricks on me? Because this world is losing me in the dust and the rain is covering everything up. And I thought you'd be here to take my hand and pull me through, but you're not... and I can't deal with that.

April 4, 2008
(c) Stephanie Lynn.