Insomnia

by firexdancer   Apr 3, 2008


As I lie awake, I dreamlessly dream about dreaming.
The air is cold.
It nips at my bare feet like a swarm of ravenous mosquitoes, but I do nothing.
With every imaginary ticking of my digital clock, words flow throughout my head.
A poem of all the things I've always wanted to say to someone, but never did. Never will.
They drip down from my eyes, onto my tongue.
I wonder if I could say them, just to the lingering darkness, to push away the fog from my mind.
But my throat is sore, and any sound coming from my mouth would end up as a mumbled whisper.
The words fade.
My dog snores.
I envy him, able to just lie down and sleep at will, without these cursed thoughts torturing him.
If only my mind had the ability to shut off on command. Thinking is painful, but not as bad as dreams.
Nightmares flood me even in the day.
My battle against their clutching grasps is fueled by caffeine and sugar, but theirs is fueled by memories.
Even though I long desperately to give in,
I fear they'll drown me in reality.
Waiting desperately for the rush of adrenaline from the licking flames to kick in,
I turn to the stimulation of my computer.
Morning takes too long to come.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by RetroRavey

    I really like it. Very vivid description, it kinda sucked me in so I just wanted to keep reading.

    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by BlueEyedMystery

    As I lie awake, I dreamlessly dream about dreaming.

    ^^ Wow, amazing opening line. It's so confusing, but in a very good way. So originial.

    It nips at my bare feet like a swarm of ravenous mosquitoes, but I do nothing.

    ^^ I love how you used the word "ravenous" it's very descriptive.

    A poem of all the things I've always wanted to say to someone, but never did. Never will.

    ^^ I loved the shortness of the last sentence. It gives an impact that adds to your poem nicely.

    If only my mind had the ability to shut off on command. Thinking is painful, but not as bad as dreams.

    ^^ You have no idea how much I can relate to this line. People always ask me why I hate sleeping and this is the answer... I hate dreams with a passion..

    I turn to the stimulation of my computer.
    Morning takes too long to come.

    ^^ More relatable lines. I'm always on my computer, mostly at night. Morning really does take too long to come... longer than it should take.

    I absolutely loved this poem, because of it's uniqueness and because I can relate to it so very well. It's like you were pulling these thoughts from my head. Amazing job, hun!

    Keep writing and stay strong!
    Cayce

  • 16 years ago

    by SiLeNtLy ScReAmInG

    Wooowwww gaby. I could really relate to pieces of this poem. it was just like you were speaking but with a unique way of saying things. Easy to understand and awesome descriptions. Creative descriptions. I wasn't sure I liked the use of dreamlessly dreaming of dreaming in the first line. it's got the rhyme and repetition and stuff, but I thought the repetition was good, but also i wasn't sure if i liked the word being used 3 times in a row, but it has a flow or rythem to it as you read it so I'm not sure on it.

    With every imaginary ticking of my digital clock, words flow throughout my head.
    I had several favorite lines from the poem that I'm gonna pick out and explain why I liked them. this was one of them. I liked the description of the imaginary ticking cause digital clocks don't tick. it was a cool idea and the words flowing in the head yea I could relate to that. oh so many words.

    I wonder if I could say them, just to the lingering darkness, to push away the fog from my mind.
    so many things i want to say but can't I could relate to this line a lot especially the fog in the mind part. my head has been so foggy lately sot this line just popped out at me as a perfect line for describing things.

    But my throat is sore, and any sound coming from my mouth would end up as a mumbled whisper.
    I could relate to this line cause when i do try to speak out loud my words come out as babble or mumbleing or both so this popped out at me too and i really liked the line.

    I turn to the stimulation of my computer.
    Morning takes too long to come.

    The stimulation of the computer I know what that is like, and yea morning does take too long to come. good description perfect way to end the poem.

    Overall a good poem I liked it. sorry this comment took awhile coming, but I've had to wait till my head was clear enough to think to be able to comment. and when it is clear enough I only have a limited amount of time that it's clear so I finally got to commenting like I promised. I give you 5/5 on this gaby i thought it was good.

  • 16 years ago

    by william

    That is just truth
    iv had insomnia for years
    its destroyd me several tyms over
    i can understand this perfectly.
    eerie

  • 16 years ago

    by Emma

    Even if we're not insomniacs, we all understand the feeling of not being able to sleep and the pain that can come when we start to think about things in bed. A great choice of subject for a poem, and the poem itself was clearly very carefully crafted. You express yourself very beautifully. Xxx

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