If Only I Was Skinnier... (458)

Feeling so tired and insecure
From all the hurt and pain
Within my heart and mind
Nothing is ever the same.

Love is not all it's cut out to be
Just another word for despair
And another meaning for death
Love is so unfair.

He broke my heart of Wednesday
But I won't let him know
I cried all of that day away
But he won't ever know.

No, I just wanna forget and go on with my life
I have no will to remember
For all I live for is strife
And the essence of forever.

He hurt me so bad
But he'll never know
I'll never tell him
I've got to be strong now,

To pretend that I don't care
When, really, he is the only person
Who matters in my life
Apart from my friends,

But I could never love my friends
In that way that I love him
Not all the words in the world could describe how I feel for him
Or the happiness I feel when around him.

But now all that is gone
As but a whisper on the wind
I have to move on,
But I can't because,

Changing the feelings I have
From love to a simple like
Is as impossible as
The fact that he'll never hold me tight.

I'll never feel his lips against mine
Or his arm around my waist
I'll never see him smile at the sight of me
Or gently caress my face.

I'll never be able to hug him
Or cry into his shoulder
Or share a life with him forever
When we are a bit older.

I'll never be able to take his picture
And stick it on my wall
I'll never be able to say
"I love you" in such a simple way.

I'll never share my poetry with him
And tell him which ones are for him
And he'll never be able to comment the artwork
That I draw for him.

We will never be
And maybe it's MY fault
If only i was skinnier, athletic, taller, smarter,
Funnier, prettier, normal, not me,

Then maybe he would love me
With all his heart and soul and mind
And not that other girl instead... =(

~Written for Daimon, who apparently has a girlfriend~

©opyrighted by ~NinjaGirl~