Very good! You know who this poem kind of reminds me of?--Edwin Arlington Robinson...he was always good at developing characters and writing from their shoes, which you've done very well here. The dialect really adds to the feeling of the person you are writing about, and there are hidden meanings here that can only be found through several readings.

'hey Pete, I hope you know your prayers,
you're gonna need them before you go bed,
it can get hot down there
it can get hot down there,
hey Pete, it's getting freaking hot down there.'

^ these are probably my favorite lines in the whole entire poem...they're just...intriguing...good job!