I love you mom... I think...

I answer the phone; "how is your day?"
Well how would you expect?? You just have NOTHING to say.

Well its a little difficlut; its not what I call fun,
No ones ever home; my dads on the run.

The people I need; they just turn away,
I only have one person; at the end of the day.

The time im not home; ill be in the car,
Thinking of things; and the way they are.

At the hospital; i just cant smile,
But my mom is in complete denial.

She thinks she is fine; that nothing went wrong,
She knows she sounds different; but she cant even sing a song.

The pitch in her voice; is out of tune,
But day after day; someone brings her more balloons.

I cant even talk to her; I dont know what to say,
Everything I knew of her; disapeared that day.

Its akward; its scary; its like shes not their,
And my mind stops working; I dont know how to care.

Her brain works at a normal speed; but she cant say what she means.
the feeling are there? I guess they cant be seen...

Her eyes are like glass; I see nothing inside,
Someone whos emotion; has nothing to hide.

My dad cries in the hallway; hes glad shes alive,
but the what if is getting to him, what if she died?

My brother doesnt get it; that who she was has disapeared.
The stoke had her heart; took the wheel and steered.

I dont want her home; because ill have nothing left to say,
I dont know if I could ever see her the same way.

Id be afraid to drive; in a car with her now,
What if shes forgotton; and doesnt know how?

I dont want to be like this; I swear I dont,
I love her enough, the feeling take a needle to my throat.

A car crash is not what I need right now;
The feeling of danger just takes me down.

My family has me; but im not really here,
Im still hanging on the rope, but its no longer fear...

What keeps me going? I dont even know...
The night it happend, it started to snow.

I dont know why that matters; maybe it does,
its like prayer; I guess it matters just because.

So how was my day; you called to ask?
I just didnt think explaining it; was a difficult task.

<3

i love you mom...
i think...