I wasn't sure when I read the first 2 lines, the repeat of daily at the end of both just doesn't feel right to me, but the rest was better. I think it is a good start and I like your concept, I think you just need to tighten your flow a bit to pull it all together. A nice start though, good work.

This is an interesting story. I feel you could do a bit of work on the metre to smooth out the flow. Line three "throughout" is one word. some of your lines leave me wondering what you exactly mean..ie. line 3 and line 6. Also in line two the Phoenix is flying yet in line 9 you are awaiting its rise from ashes.
as always only an opinion.