Interesting second part, I expected something more pathetic too be honest but you did nice job.
I overall like it, I think that you could make even more captivating atmosphere with using some more unique descriptions, it is always good to expand you vocab even just a little bit. Also for my taste this is kinda too simple but there is something in core of this piece which made me to like it, I somehow truly can feel that your emotions coming from the heart and you described them on very indirect and steady way but that left remarkable impression on me.
Usually I hate repetition of words but in this poem I see function of your repetitions so you highlighted emotions with using same words which is also good.
I think that you could improve your writing but all in all I enjoyed in this poem.