Watching Over You

by sweet escape   Apr 5, 2008


** poem about my inward battle, and how i once tried to save myself form me**

Sweet dreams little girl, you'll be safe tonight.
I'm watching over you, there's no need to fight.

While you sleep, keep watch, I will.
Tonight, you won't need that sleeping pill.

Keeping all harm away form you.
You no longer need what you think you do.

Put down the pills and the knife,
I'm truly trying to save your life.

Keeping you safe form yourself is a hard task.
I'm afraid your safety will not, long, last.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by ThomasBlackburn

    One of my favorites

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Overall, this is very touching piece filled with an amount of emotions expressed in a good way.

    Honestly, I don't like the rhymes because they are too common and basic and I think that they should be more original. All in all you created good flow but the rhymes need to be revised.

    Interesting idea for a piece, too.

  • 16 years ago

    by Bugg

    I truly liked this poem. It was a little on the short side, but it was still emotional and it got the point across. Even though it was short, it still flowed nicely and you used really great descriptive words. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Kaila

    Now this poem conveyed emotion
    which was lacking in some of your others
    I thought this poem was original
    it had a good rhythm
    and the vocabulary was right on
    I thought the idea was really neat
    The end line has a gramatical error
    might want to fix that
    you=your
    nice job
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Robert

    This seemed to read like a series of statement with no real reason as to why you wanted to live. I think in this and the last poem I read of yours you do yourself alot of injustice to your work by just sharing with the reader one half of the whole story just a thought Plot121

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