Christmas 2004

This piece is good but it could be better if you expanded it you could add a depth that would really improve this poem. I feal the emotions on ther serface the anger and the pain but the griving and the loss are not shown, go deeper don't be scared to wright all you feal.

This poem, reminds me of something that my dad said a couple of christmases ago, and i feel every connected with it, christmas is a hard time to have to miss someone, you wish they were there and its difficult knowing that they have been there everyother year but not that one. to write this at the age of 13, is something well i woulnd't wish my worst enemy to experience. :[ hugs you*

and also for a thirteen year old i must say you are advanced in your poetry skills, as i wouldn't have been able to write even half as good as this. the structure is a bit off, possibly put this into stanzas, a little bit of punctuation at the end of the lines, (i'm not one for talking on that aspect though because i'm not that good at it myself.) anyway its very good x

" many people will not be here
don't expect me to be happy
no doubt i will shed a tear"

Good rhyme scheme, I Like the way your writing.

"i know people aren't here forever
but they could have stayed longer"

Favorite line in the poem ^^

This is a good poem, short but it does its job well. Keep it up :D