My breath

by Unamed   Apr 10, 2008


Gasping, gasping
Where the hell is that fresh air?
My lungs are burning,
Needing that precious breath.

Panting for that breath,
my body needs it to move on
it cannot go another second without it.
how can death be so close?

Realizing it's my time,
more panic then before
appears before my eyes.
Don't you know?
It's not my time to go!

As my breath comes slower and yet slower,
I lie here in my kitchen floor thinking.
Thinking of the things i never got to do.

As it comes closer to a stop,
My life flashes before my eyes.
I see the little girl playing in the medows.
I see the girl experiancing her first kiss.
I see the teenager breaking up with her boyfriend,
and finaly i see the girl who turned to drugs.

Gasping and panting,
My breath finally commes to a stop,
and all i can think of
is I love you mom.

****aLy****

[[plz read/rate/comment!]]]

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Strange and Beautiful

    Beautiful! Loved it!!!!!!!
    So deep and filled with emotion!
    5/5
    Well done!!!!!!!

  • 16 years ago

    by ReinaPuente

    Aww... lovely...niice work 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Gizmo

    Last stanza, is breath taking.
    the imagery is spot on,
    the flash backs were a very good touch. (i wonder does that really happen? anyway)

    t5h ereppetition throughout was also a good wee youcj.

    very sad. but well written, i saw mo9re structure in this poem, and it made it easier for me to read 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by i wish upon a star

    Good poem 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by WrittenInTheStars

    I think you could have used more descriptive words. Like the first few stanzas have the word "breath" in them a lot. Maybe you could find another way to describe it or another word for it. Also I thought there could be a little more emotion within this poem. And with the exception of a few spelling errors the rest was great. Great job, keep up the good work.

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