I would love not to believe
that everything happens for a reason,
but I know I deserve
every reciprocation and consequence.
I will never forget you,
but what will remain etched in my memory
will be the look in your eye
when you finally say goodbye.
I wouldn't blame you if you stop loving me,
because sadness is more easily caused than happiness,
and I can't tell the truth, no I can't.
I wish I had had the nerve to loosen my tongue
like the alcohol loosened my lips,
but I can't trust you unless you
cross your heart and hope to die
that my words and scars won't make you suffer.
You deserve to know every mistake
you should know I made with you in mind.
But regret has become my new best friend and confidante.
It keeps my secrets safe inside but plagues my mind,
and in the night it comes pouring from my eyes
in streams of beauty you have yet to see.
And the poor, salty truth is that I only loved you
when your hand was creeping up my thigh
and your knee was pushing my legs apart.
Only then did I know your true intentions.
but now I know my apologies aren't enough
to reverse the curse of inevitability.
Every minute we spent together is now a painful reminder
of how perfectly we spent the time.
Every single secret stifled by our desire
is now floating in this endless night,
accompanied by my despair and your freedom.
You were freed while now I am trapped in the knowledge
that I destroyed another fragile chance at infinity.
I am sorry.
