Comments : Trading hearts (like we're playing cards)

  • 16 years ago

    by Live WeLL

    Wow I really enjoyed this poem! .. First let me say that I loveeee the whole concept with the deck of cards and the 4 suits.. very creative! .. also your title is really unique and interesting.. it got my attention right away.. very very clever =)

    I'm no club
    Never had much good luck
    I'm tired of squeezing pennies
    Trying to make a buck

    ^^ I love that stanza.. I bet a lot of people can relate to that - working so hard all the time and barely getting anything out of it.. of course we are gonna think it's all bad luck.. great job writing about it and relating it to cards

    If your looking for my heart
    All you'll find is a spade
    Trading hearts like we're playing cards
    It's time for me to fade

    ^^ Amazing way to end it, including the title in your last stanza.. I really like when people put the title of the poem in the actual poem.. it just keeps it all together

    You have talent and it shows thru this poem. Very nice job! 5/5 keep it up =)