Rumaging through the memories
of those bygone days...
I fumbled across the smiles
that were brought my way...
^^^
You have painted quite clear imagery within your lines here without totally revealing your action. Excellent! I get an image of someone sorting through old pictures.
One little error .... rumaging = rummaging
Along the journey
on which turn...
did I lost the dreams
I made once...
^^^
3rd line ---- > did I lose the dreams
Alienated.... an aching Heart
Broken .... teared apart
^^^
I love these lines but perhaps you would rather ....
Broken .... torn apart
Silently,
My soul cries...
As I rummage through the memories
of the years gone by...
^^^
Very sad, touching ending. You have expressed the ache in the heart we get when looking through past memories.
Except for a few minor errors I really enjoyed this read. It expressed such deep sadness.
Well done
Luanne