Giving up

by XxXcrystalXcontagiousXxX   Apr 12, 2008


Please don't look into my
eyes my heart was shattered.
From all of the lies.I tried so
hard to not let it show,But now
I'm slipping away and Ive already
let go.My soul feels broken,from
all the deceit.I try to block out the
past.I'm just trying to get away
from the memories but there
coming back so fast.I didn't want
to be known as the girl who couldn't
be saved.

Ive become what i feared,And all
i can think is i must be brave.
You say I'm beautifull but look
at me now,I'm on the floor like
a coward so pitifully indeed.Looking
back this empty shell of me is
almost to hard to believe.So I'm letting
go,i don't want to be in this hell anymore.
please don't look at me I'm rotten from
the core.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Good write...
    maybe you could have separated the sentances into different stanzas and tried to rhyme it...

  • 16 years ago

    by Gizmo

    Firstly i must say the flow was prefect for the poem. but secondly, it would make it a little bit easier if you seperated it like so v

    Please don't look into my eyes
    my heart was shattered. From all of the lies.
    I tried so hard to not let it show,
    But now I'm slipping away and Ive already
    let go

    - its boring i know, but its generally what everyone is used to reading it kinda helps to read it .

    'I didn't want
    to be known as the girl who couldn't
    be saved.'
    - and i have had that fear for a long time, and it was wrote so prefectly.

    i wish i never felt like that, but i did along time ago. that poem was brilliant had me glued to the screen. can't wait to check out some more. :]

  • 16 years ago

    by Shinobi

    This poem is a very sad peice, it touched me. The structure is broken all the way to the end, I personaly don't like that, but maybe it's your style. The rhymes showed here and there, the flow was a mess. Besides the choosing of words and idea it was not that good. 4/5

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