Under The Influence Of The Almighty Cliche

by ABake   Apr 12, 2008


Tonight sure is a lonely night ; I am staring at the stars trying to ignore this huge cloud of guilt above my head -- I am pleading with the moon to chase the guilt away , but the only thing being chased is that last shot of Vodka : By the way , I recommend Pepsi for that . . .

Staring at your face , it finally hit me just how beautiful you are . [ Baby , I Am Prepared For My Permanent Comatose To Begin ] Your eyes , lips , and how can I forget that dazzling smile ; But never think your beauty conquers how much I love you .

I never really understood all of the complex education ; Slope in Algebra or the order of the United States Presidency but one thing I am able to understand is the way my heart beats with yours -- I ' m afraid I have fallen under the influence of the [ Almighty Cliche ]

I will be the last to admit it , and like always the last one to know ; But you ' ve got me wrapped around your pretty little finger . But don ' t reply to my every message , because like the others before you I have found that I sure can dish it out but I can ' t take it in . . .

But for old times sake Hun , lets laugh along the beach shore and kiss under the stars -- Just remember , we both know where you stand ; Don ' t feel as if that is a threat though : Remember when I promised you I would never hurt you ? Well , I hope you remember I always have backed up my words .

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  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    I think that this piece is very creative and original. It has interesting narrative and descriptive tone which makes it very powerful.

    Honestly, the only thing that I don't like about this piece is the line "By the way , I recommend Pepsi for that . . .", it somehow threw me off because through the every paragraph you express emotions and that line somehow doesn't fit the whole concept and the atmosphere that you created.

    Overall, you kept my attention from the beginning to the end,and your great writing style pulled me deeply into this piece. I like your choice of words, too.

    The last paragraph is my favorite one because I like the descriptions and vivid imagery that you portrayed here.

    The whole piece sounds very personal, like it's written straight from the heart- emotions simply flow through every line.

    All in all, this is greatly written, and I enjoyed in every line.

    Keep up!

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