Fade Away

by Shinobi   Apr 14, 2008


Through the window reflects brightly a new day
Staring at the sun from the shadow in my heart
Weeks of light and happiness, all fade away
Seems like life has fallen to it's start

Times in which my heart knew no hunger
Hours passed walking my way astray
Noise roamed, stronger than thunder
Needs aren't important, all fade away

Ache or depression don't appear
No pain or sorrow in any way
Dark voices speak from the rear
Wait and see, it will fade away

Surprising feelings of relief spread inside
A spirit which knows it will all soon convey
A phase between states, no need for any aid
Soon it will pass, it will all fade away

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by ether

    First of all, you need punctuation at the end of your lines, it directs the reader and makes it gramatically correct.
    Perhaps read some of the published poets poetry? Robert Frost or Anna Akmatova (sp?)? You'll see what I mean there.

    I like this. It is boarderline cliche, but it just misses it through your vocabulary and word choice. And the form was aesthetically pleasing. Maybe a better vocabulary will build up some stronger emotions in the reader, but other than that, good work.

    5/5

    jess ~

  • 16 years ago

    by Sole

    I really liked the repetition, I feel as if it allowed the poem to transform according to different people's views or translations.

    My favourite stanza was the first, I think the description was good and I prefer imagery poems.

    5/5 Cheers, Sole x

  • 16 years ago

    by Lizaveta

    There are so many emotions beautifully conveyed in every stanza. i like how you play with the image of light in the first stanza:
    Through the window reflects brightly a new day
    Staring at the sun from the shadow in my heart

    though the stanzas express quite different state, the repetiton of "fade away" and the same rhythme unites them

    i really love the main idea of the poem that every state is evanescent it's like phases. the last stanza is very inspirational

    overall, great write
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    I can relate to the emotions that you expressed here which made this piece more effective to me. You should add some punctuation signs through the poem to create more powerful rhythm but other than that this is very enjoyable read, truly well written. I like the repetition of "fade away" in every stanza, that highlighted intensity of the poem's message.

    My favorite stanza is:

    - Times in which my heart knew no hunger
    Hours passed walking my way astray
    Noise roamed, stronger than thunder
    Needs aren't important, all fade away-

    Keep up!

  • 16 years ago

    by sweet escape

    This poem doesnt reach out to me at all. it is in the middle. i dont hate it or love it. im not sure how i feel about it actually.

    for me the only part in this poem that somewhat reached out and 'grabed' me was ... "Staring at the sun from the shadow in my heart"

    all in all this poem is a toss up for me and go i give it a 4.

    i gave it a for because it has a lot of hidden meaning in it and is strong in that sience.

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