The catacombs of the heart

Within my heart there lies a catacomb,
a place closed off where no light is shown

A deep sacred place of my loves laid to rest,
some at their worst, some at their best.

This sanctuary created lies hidden and deep,
a place where sadness, heartache, and loneliness sleep.

This abyss of darkness I've closed upon them,
seems to bring comfort and safety with them locked within.

For only I, who knows all too well what lies inside,
and why there they must dwell.

The pains they have caused both emotional and on skin, still show the signs of why they must be condemned.

Though hidden inside, they are not all concealed,
to those I love or trust, some have been revealed.

All of these experiences, both good and awful,
remain with me, and keep me ever thoughtful.

For the dreams of the past become the nightmares of the future, I work diligently in the efforts of maintaining their protective sutures.

As a new partner approaches, I pull away instantly,
recognizing at once that distant familiarity.

He is not discouraged, though I gave no permission, in just a short time I realize his intentions.

He moves in closely and does not falter,
our eyes are locked like two horses in halters.

He closes in a bit more each moment, and briefly our lips touch with the gentleness of an infant.

He moves away for I show no reaction,
even though I am appalled that he would perpetrate the infraction.

The things in my mind were as clear as day, "who the hell do you think you are, and just what the hell.... ???

Instead I find myself mumble under my breath "that was almost disappointing" as though only in jest.

A jest it was not taken, and it was abundantly clear that I had ventured too far, or perhaps too near.

He responds quickly and moves in my direction, I almost backed away, though I didn't want to convey rejection.

I had asked for it, whether under my breath or not, a challenge was made, and a challenge was what I had got. The extreme difference between the first little kiss, and the second was of night and day, I felt myself tightened in like a deer brought to bay.

He had placed his hand on the back of my head, a gentle grasp of long red hair in his hand tilted my head in his determined direction, he had left no time or thought for my reflection.

His other hand grasped the base of my throat firmly as if to take control, my heart beat raced, my breath quickened in anticipation, my mind swam slowly as if in a thick moat. I had lost all conscious control, heart, mind, body, and soul.

My attempt at thought disappeared at his lips touched mine... not with gentleness or patience, but raw passion this time.

It seemed like forever locked in his embrace as our tongues and lips moved firmly intertwined, I moved my hand to his face as if almost to read his mind.

That time that had felt like forever seemed like a fleeting moment that was far too short, though during the time, my thoughts were so remote.

As we gently separated, tender tiny kisses lingered as my heart pumped with adrenaline as if pricked by a stinger.

My face felt flushed, my body warm, with my eyes still closed even moments later, I felt a fear of opening them and finding that he was nowhere near.

Yet he was there when I finally found the will and strength to open them, staring at me with pride and curiosity wondering the same as I , if this were fantasy or reality.

Reality it was, and my body told me so, we repeated it several times before we had to go. It seemed as neither of us wanted it to end for the simple fear that it would never happen like this again.

Yet still in my mind that passionate kiss remains like the moments that it lasted, and that will never change. It will be locked within the catacombs of my heart as a memory of one that will be cherished till the end of my days.

What happens from here remains un-certain,
could it be the beginnings of love, or simply yet another burden...

Time can only tell, and as they say, "patience is a virtue"- Virtue itself can be like a statue, watching, waiting, and lurking to see if destiny itself intervenes or belies a completely opposite outcome.

Either way that destiny and patience push us, he will hold that sacred place in the catacombs of my heart where I alone can remember, feel, taste, and experience that fluttering, exhilarating, passionate, and determinate kiss any time I so desire.

So far... I seem to desire to search that particular memoriam more often than any other that has ever held residence in the entire structure of 33 years worth of experiences housed there in that catacomb of my heart.

REMEMBER
In dreams there lies a truth that in waking times you can choose to deny... un-fortunately, in waking times, even though you may choose to deny a feeling, emotion, a soul-touching experience, a loss, a gift of someone else's heart, or whatever the case may concern for you... you must be aware that even that conscious choice to DENY, is in fact, a sub-conscious choice or realization to ACCEPT, and revel in the memory or the sensory perceptions that went with it.

These are things that you cannot deny, and what makes human beings have the ability to love beyond hurt, depression, angst, distrust, and pain, or even unforgivable abuse. The bonds of love, and passion and mutual respect override all in the heart. The mind does what it needs for protection, all the heart wants is acceptance, stimulation, and reciprocation of the love that it has to offer as a friend, relative, or as a lover/partner in life.

LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDS