My Curse

"The dreams and memories
Are swallowing me whole
I call out your name
Hoping you'll save my soul"

Great imagery, its perfect. I like the simplicity of this in your poem. A good start.

"I let go of the reigns
You took me for a ride
While I made plenty of mistakes
You have to know I tried"

Simple rhyme scheme in this stanza. ABCB, this rhyme scheme is not so common but it is used, and I like how you used it in this poem.

"I feel the tears roll down
I wonder how long it'll last
I'm tired of laying here
Unable to escape the past"

You used the same rhyme scheme in this as you did the last. its good your using consistency.

"Breathing isn't easy
Walking is even worse
Love was such a blessing
Now it's become my curse"

Favorite stanza of the poem, it was really good and very well written. Good contrast and good wording was used. I loved it.

"This isn't my call for sympathy
Nor my begging for you to come back
Just the last words of a boy
That whose heart's been turned to black "

I like the ending, its unexpected yet it fits in with the rest of the poem. Very good job again with this poem I like your writing style your very good. Good job.