To cry or not to cry

These tears that are deep within me.
These tears I have held in so deeply.
I just want them to escape.
I want to set them free.
I want to pour out the pain.
I want to pour all this out.
I am tired of faking.
I am tired of smiling.
All day long I have been smiling when everything was going wrong.
But, I'm done.
I want to be able to cry.
And to trust again.
I want to be able to be smart.
And to feel like some day & with someone, I will belong.
But, I don't cry when everything is going wrong.
I hold it in and hold it down deep.
But, I want to be able to cry.
I have had enough of faking.
& I have had enough.
I can't handle pretending.
I can't handle faking.
I'm done smiling.
I want to be able to cry when my heart is breaking.
I'm done with pretending.
And I'm done with life.
I can't handle this any more.
I just can't.
Everything is going wrong.
And I don't know what to do.
I know I should turn to you.
Daddy, I know I should.
But, I don't feel like I deserve you.
I don't feel like I should ask you to tell me.
Cause my problems are so small.
There are other people,
With problems, oh so tall.
I don't want to bother you.
And I don't want to bug you.
But, I know I can turn to you.
I just don't know what I should do.