Have you ever got so low?

Have you ever reached a point in your life ,
where things got too much and you got so low ?.
Ever got to the point you just did not want to be here ? ,
well that point I got to about 8/9 months ago.

About 18 months ago I had to take on an extra job ,
and it is there I met a man whom I fell for.
Not something that should happen when I already have a partner ,
and hurting my partner I could never do that is for sure.

The man I met started out as just a friend ,
we would meet outside of work for coffee and a chat.
I enjoyed his company and he made me laugh ,
we'd chat for hours about this and that.

Then we realised between us feelings were starting to grow ,
hide my feelings from my partner I could not do.
So before anything else could happen with this other ,
to be honest and tell my partner I just had to.

I hated myself for I had drove my partner to tears ,
with the kids he threatened me so that is why I stay.
I had not meant to fall in love with another ,
and still I hate myself for it to this day.

I felt like a terrible person for hurting my partner ,
as for the other my feelings they just won't go.
I got to thinking I'm a bad person who did not deserve to live ,
and what I did well I'll just say I have the scars to show.

I am not proud of what happened and only have myself to blame ,
with my partner I remain and he says he still loves me.
I do care about him but he know its the kids that keep me here ,
my feelings for another still remain but are well hid just like my scars so no one can ever see.