To live is to face clash of feelings

To live is to face clash of feelings
You turned your eyes walking away
I shared your joy, for you I was happy
But for myself
I cried

Not easy it is to be everyone alone
Be friend to others, crush feelings I own
Enemies disdain but so did they
They! whom myself
I deified

They promised aid, I knotted with them
They didn't move, destination went farther
Clung with odds, to attenuate the distance
All by myself
I tried

Seeking clues to unfold the mystery
What's fate! Our discretion or Nature's
I traced your fulsome smirk
Then into myself
I pried

Someone searching modes of behaviour
Should learn from my shivering soul
Perforce how multiple inner states
Unknown to myself
I implied

My words now fall on deaf ears!!
Your effrontery watches, I shed tears
To water the grounds of heart
Which once, myself
I dried

My life flashed before my eyes
Raising a question I couldn't answer
To all else I spoke the truth
Why, to myself
I lied!