Comments : His Tree

  • 16 years ago

    by ImIndelible

    This was cool some parts we are ok but the rest good job.4/5

  • 16 years ago

    by White Chocolate Dynamite

    Wow, this was a strongly stated poem, i could tell the emmotion in it. I bet there was alot of emotion that went into. Keep it up! 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by WrittenInTheStars

    This is one of the poems that I can find nothing wrong with. It was flawlessly written and the word choice was absolutely amazing. Kudos for you. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Kelsey

    I like your depth..your darkness.. you have a way of drawing a reader in with it.

  • 16 years ago

    by Skyfire

    Such a sad poem...I genuinely hope that you have not had this experience...

  • 15 years ago

    by Sapphire

    "Your message written on the wall in blood
    You made it sound so easy
    The world was too much
    The people too many
    So you ended it"

    I love the way you did not rhyme at the end, it added much emphasis to what you were saying.

    "Now its all over, we're at the end
    Leaving me to explain
    For I found the body
    I found the blood
    I have the dreams"

    This almost made me cry, i'm not even kidding. *I found the blood, I have the dreams* This makes me realize of what you are going through. Simple words, but because they are so simple, it hits me harder.

    "I still see the blood on my hands
    And dripping down the wall
    Your brother running in
    Sinking to the floor
    He blames himself

    But life goes on, for me anyway
    Though he saw your body too
    He couldn't take the pain
    Your brothers body found
    Hanging from his tree"

    These last 2 paragraphs tied everything together for me. The way you wrote it was able to let me know what happened after this person's death.

    This poem shows how one person's suicide will always affect the people they leave behind. It shows it beautifully. If this really happened to you, i'm deeply sorry, and I can only hope that this experince will make you stronger.

    5/5
    Keep writing

  • 15 years ago

    by Blah Blah Blahhhh

    This is really good. and so sad what depression does.

  • 14 years ago

    by victoria

    You are so vivid in your work. Your depth is endless and so flawless. This poem has such emotion. Keep it up.