Through pain and wonder i put this life last
now into a position
that could question my entire past
and decisions are incomplete
my mind doesn't understand how i've let myself down
this is not what was planned
dreams have come true, happiness is here
please understand, you mean the world
but i fear
this life is not ready to be brought about
but i pray
someday
i'll awaken and realize all this pain
could be taken away
with one step in direction of your way
but until then i'll keep distance
and hope i will see which is the best life
but i know that i'll probably
fu** everything up and end unhappily
because i wasn't ready to settle fully
this wasn't what i asked for
not even close to where i thought i would be
i've let everyone down
i just want to flee
away from everything and come back anew
to a life i will someday spend with you
when time says it's perfect
and i say times fine
i want to run away and have you waiting
right here, same place, waiting to be mine
but i know it's impossible
and tears will only form
if i take too long and cause an awful storm
though it's what i want
everything, for me, it will not wait
please let me run away
please, i beg you
i'll come back if you await
my foot steps and calls
just stand waiting there
no, i'm f**king up,
it's time i shut up
i'll leave, to no one, to a life all alone
where i wont make mistakes
and i wont hurt any one
and no one will care who i am
or where i went
to a life where my regrets will be
far away sent
so excuse me, i'm dearly sorry
i've fu**ed up too much
i don't even recognize myself
i don't know anymore what i'm about
never mind me, i'll show myself out
