Sea of Cinder

by Indian Comma Bean   Apr 20, 2008


Wondering which road to go down,
As the sun cascades over dew-covered ground,
One leads to nowhere, the other to town,
So we follow our heart, the beat, the sound.

Across this sea of cinder,
Up these Burning stairs,
My clothing linen tinder,
As the great sun flares.

Delirious and confused,
Swelling head, lost and hollow,
My arms and legs bruised
Finding this trail hard to follow.

Sunken eyes asleep
But my feet do the working,
My soul's going down deep,
As the pain starts lurking.

Wondering which road to go down,
As the sun cascades over dry, barren, ground,
One leads to nowhere, the other to town,
So we try to follow our heart, But it has lost its sound.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Wow...
    The repetition of the first stanza at the end with the twist in the last line is truly effective. I haven't expected that kind of ending but it truly left me in awe. I like the whole message of this poem and I think that you truly portrayed the imagery in every stanza greatly. I like the details through the whole poem. You pulled me in right from the first line and kept my attention with captivating imagery and very profound stanzas. The only thing I don't like about the poem is that you repeated the word "my" too many times so that ruined the flow a bit.
    Overall, this is another great poem from you.
    My favorite stanza is the first one, it is really captivating.

    Keep up!

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