When I Look Back I See You

by Needer of You   Apr 21, 2008


When I look back
I see our smiles and laughter at the movies
When I look back
I see you chasing me at the park
When I look back
I see my head on your shoulders
When I look back
I see you feeding me and me feeding you
When I look back
I see you winking at me
When I look back
I see you standing up for me
When I look back
I see your arms around me, protecting me
When I look back
I see you staring at me with your cute eyes
When I look back
I see you pulling my hair
When I look back
I see you stretch out your hand for a dance
When I look back
I see all the sweet memories of you and me
When I look back
I see all the times we had together
When I look back
All I see is laughter and smiles
But what the hell happens when I look ahead
I see you doing all the stuff you with me to another girl

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Teria

    Sorry that I didn't realize that before, I always check over a second time. usually I notice it all the first time but this wasn't the case.

    "I see you doing all the stuff you did for me to another girl "

    Maybe try: "I see you doing all the stuff you did with me to another girl"

  • 16 years ago

    by Teria

    "But what the hell happens when I look front"
    "But what the hell happens when I look ahead"

    I really did like this poem, as you see there was only one thing that I noticed needed changing. However, I didn't really like the repetitiveness that much. I think that every other line was a bit much, maybe taking it down to once a stanza or something? That's just my taste though, not anyone else's.

    Good poem. :]

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