Ridicules

I feel ridicules,
For crying my eyes out over something, that I cannot change.

You are going to do it.
You are really going to do it.

We sat there talking, and you told me that,
You'd stopped the chemo-treatment.
Told me that you were willing to sacrifice,
Those extra years you could have had with us.
And I just sat there,
Looking out the window,
Saying; "It is your choice".

I cannot believe that you are going to do it.
You are really going to do it.

I know that you are in pain,
And I know that you suffer badly.
But I also know that I cannot let you go.
I have always had people leaving me.
Just never thought that you would be one of them.
I know I am selfish, and I am sorry.
I am hurt and confused, 'cause
The one who taught me strength are giving up.

And I am still standing here,
feeling ridicules, feeling helpless.
Still crying 'till I cannot breathe,
Over something that I cannot change.

(C) Camilla Hansen