Pretending the present

by ThomasBlackburn   Apr 22, 2008


Im stuck in the wake of her,
All my songs cannot stop it either.
All my melodies of comfort,
Do not fog my sorrow.

Why?
But my problems need not,
To be everyones' burden.
Not knowing how I should feel...
But my smiles are transparent.
And the outside can always see in!

Pretending the present isnt so hard,
Is much harder than it looks.
How long does it last? I can easily remember,
All the long walks we took.
I will never understand you now...

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by sweet escape

    I love this poem. i can feel your pain, as you wrote it, of loosing her.

  • 16 years ago

    by EssenceOfLace

    I am still amazed by this poem, with or without the edit.
    I love the ... effect at the end. It sort of fades out the ending of the poem.
    =) Fantastic

  • 16 years ago

    by EssenceOfLace

    Now THIS is more like it!

    I sensed raw, deep emotions in this. I literally wanted to read more of it. It was simple, wasn't forced.

    ONE thing needs fixing:
    2nd stanza, 3rd line:

    "To be everybodies burden"

    ^^change -everybodies- to "everyone's" it sounds, looks, and flows much better with the piece.

    Overall, this was fantastic.
    5/5
    ~Lace

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