*shudders*
this gave me the chillies.
wowzers
it was amazing!
just like yew!!!
tehehe..
keep up the great work babe!
it was absoultley fantabulous! :]

I liked the darkness you portrayed within this piece, it was definitly quite chilling and eerie. You placed such terrible scenes into the mind whilst I was reading this.

I liked this poem, but I didn't because it felt to much like a story then a poem. Still good but it just seems to me like you've written a short story with a ryhme and structure. That's only my personal opinion though.

The flow was smoothe at the start though as it got futher down it seemed to go off track which through me off when reading it. I feel as though the flow was off due to the syllables. Some lines lots of syllables while others only held few. When writing a poem try and have the lines at the same syllable count in each stanza. It really helps the flow. For me it does anyway.

Overall this was good but noy great. I enjoyed the meaning behind it, dark and intriguing just the basics of writing a poem seemed off to me. Just my personal opinion I supose.

Still a good piece. Well done. Keep writing. ~Mel

It was smooth, nice, very very dark!lol, I liked it! I dont care what anyone else says, it was great! keep it up!

I actually liked it lol. It was different. More like a story, but with rhyming.

It's always great to read different things on here, never be afraid to try something new.. It doesn't matter what anyone on here thinks, aslong as you're happy with it.

Keep it up!

I loved how this was different and took me to another place. The words you used to describe each scene was flawless and got you message across nicely. I could feel the emotions you expressed and overall this was a great piece to read . *5/5*

I thought it was good (:

Like how you add your voice in this.
such a dark poem, very good!