Behind Closed Eyes

Aww!..its so short but very nice..i would really like to see this longer, but, being short like this is very nice.. i like how u started it with a strong sentence. and i agree with it, umm i think the last sentence could have been stronger, u put so much emotion to the first sentence, the next two kinda slip from catching that strong emotion again.i dont know if that makes sence, but like let me see if i can explain it another way..

u start it so powerful and emotional with that first sentnce, but when u move to the 2nd and third its not as powerfull, so it takes some of the power away....get it?...god !..confusing!....but i like it, it just needs a tad bit of work..
Aly

Breathtaking teddy.
utterly breath-taking.
i loved it.
it is short and sweet.
but you spoke to the heart.
you did amazing with this.
i'd say lengthen it,
but its message is so powerful.
keep up the amaz-az-az-azing work!

Short,simple, but in those words you said alot