Comments : Mute

  • 16 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Awww, wow, this is talented. well done i really liek it amazing job youve done xxx

  • 16 years ago

    by she

    Amazing poem, 5/5!

  • 16 years ago

    by Cotton Candy Clouds

    Wow girly...one strong and amazing poem you got there
    if i could i would nominate it for the poetry contest

    great flow
    and it was very very clear
    5/5 <33

  • 16 years ago

    by Dark Secrets

    I think most teenagers feel that way if not all, The only way to deal with it I guess is to always think positivly even when it's really hard to and dreaming always helps take the pain away... love the poem it's truly wonderful

  • 16 years ago

    by Michelle18

    This is a great poem.. i really like it.. your writing style is brilliant... the poem is just so sad.. i feel this way alot .. i hate to say it but it happens all the time. but i've learned to deal with it. you should do the same.. just try to stay positive :)

    great job on this one. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Bugg

    "No words can describe the abandonment felt
    when loved ones leave
    when loneliness becomes a friend
    and sadness welcomes you
    until you dont remember how to feel
    until acceptance becomes a burden"

    I loved that stanza! This poem was really great and very well expressed. It was really sad, too. But we should all try to make the negatives into positives. And I see that you wrote this in April, so maybe you have. :D

    ~Kail

  • 16 years ago

    by Sole

    Wow, the warning was real, a ver depressing poem.
    The structure, the flow and everything was extremely good. I normally dislike non-rhymng poems, as I have a very short attention span and I find the rhymes help me to keep concentrating on the poem, however this one had my full and complete attention throughout, I even read it three times!

    I love these lines;
    'No words can express the hunger for acceptance
    that eats away at your insides'

    And I love how in the third stanza you percieved Sadness and Lonliness as people (Personification?) It really helped to push the meaning deeper into the readers mind. And the repetition of the final two lines finishes the poem excellently.

    Amazing write,

    Sole x

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "No words can express the hunger for acceptance
    that eats away at your insides
    that clouds your judgment
    and turns you inside out
    until hurt turns to apathy,
    until sadness turns to anger"
    ``Wow. These were my favorite lines. Perfectly said, very nicely worded. Very descriptive. I loved how this was worded so uniquely as well. It's like these feelings that a lot of us feel, you put into your own words and very uniquely. [Sorry if I am making no sense.]

    "[and you wish theyd just leave you to die]"
    ``Uhmm, you need a apostrophe in they'd. :]

    "No words can express the confusion inside
    that steals your sleep
    that makes you feel worthless
    and fills you with contradictions
    until you can no longer pretend
    until you can no longer take the life youve been given

    [and you start to believe the lies]"
    ``Oh my goodness. Everything in this poem is worded so wonderfully. So descriptively. You've in the last line needs an apostrophe like I just did.

    This was such a wonderful poem. I can't tell you how uniquely worded it was. I thought you did a great job with descriptive words. Well done. I absolutely loved this poem. 5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    Not only is this poem really well written it reflects the root cause of depression that cannot be described by words

    Very well done