Our rhyme

by StonedGooberz   Apr 23, 2008


Secrets within the deepest part of my heart
I will express all this unwritten speech
With black ink upon a computer screen
Searching thoughts that were once out of reach

You have become more then an addiction
That I could never dream of forgetting
Because if I ever lost you within my life
I would be living in a forever of regretting

So tonight I'm going to hold you tight
Let my lips linger upon yours for a time
Because it's within every second I have you
I become more hopelessly in love with our rhyme

Standing alone without you I realize I'm weaker
My mind seemed to be dancing within some disturbed lunacy
But with that kiss that brought some sense of life
You helped me find a better sense the bliss of intimacy

You have no idea how much you are a part of my life
This is not some stupid teenage puppy love bull
Because without you by my side in the screwed up world
Every second of it I would become something so hateful

So tonight I'm going to hold you tight
Let my lips linger upon yours for a time
Because it's within every second I have you
I become more hopelessly in love with our rhyme

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by SashaMirage

    You are really good at writing love poems. I really enjoy reading every word of the poems that you write.
    "Secrets within the deepest part of my heart
    I will express all this unwritten speech
    With black ink upon a computer screen
    Searching thoughts that were once out of reach"
    These first lines really caught my attention, and made me want to read more.

    "You have become more then an addiction
    That I could never dream of forgetting
    Because if I ever lost you within my life
    I would be living in a forever of regretting"
    Your dedication of true love here is amazing.
    I love the flow and repetition. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Fsams

    Wow this poem is so welll writen!

    Secrets within the deepest part of my heart
    I will express all this unwritten speech
    With black ink upon a computer screen
    Searching thoughts that were once out of reach

    These lines are a real good beginning coz it really guages the reader to your intention.

    You have become more then an addiction
    That I could never dream of forgetting
    Because if I ever lost you within my life
    I would be living in a forever of regretting

    These stanzas are a good follow up of what has been introduced in the initail lines. The line "in a forever" shows the real usage of what I call, The Poetic License!

    The rest of your poem explains and reasons out why your loved one is so important and at the end sums up your status quo!

    I am thrilled to read this piece! Maximun credit dear!

    Tc
    Fsams

  • 16 years ago

    by shivali

    Secrets within the deepest part of my heart
    I will express all this unwritten speech
    With black ink upon a computer screen
    Searching thoughts that were once out of reach

    You have become more then an addiction
    That I could never dream of forgetting
    Because if I ever lost you within my life
    I would be living in a forever of regretting

    these line touched me.

    this was full of emotions.

    good job!!!!!!!!!!

  • 16 years ago

    by jLegendc

    Great poem! well expressed and really romantic..
    i don't hav advices and criticism about this.. good job! =]

  • 16 years ago

    by No one

    It's gorgeous =)
    You have a real knack for writing love poems, damn you =P teach me oh wise one..

    Anyways, it was a great poem.
    Talk to you later love,
    xxxxx

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